


slow dancing on a crowded street

by wordlocker



Category: K-pop, VIXX
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-29 20:46:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1009915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordlocker/pseuds/wordlocker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaehwan and Hongbin never expect their relationship to get any more complicated than hooking up as idols, until that tiny pink plus sign comes into their life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	slow dancing on a crowded street

Hongbin can hear the ruckus outside, Hakyeon chattering away and Sanghyuk trying to get everyone’s attention at full volume, but the more he stares at the tiny plus sign the more it fades away and the only thing he hears is the rush of blood in his ears. Someone knocks on the bathroom door and he almost drops the stick into the toilet in his surprise. He assumes it’s Taekwoon because Wonshik would yell at him to hurry up and Jaehwan would just burst in without even knocking.

“Yeah,” he calls out before whoever it is can make any more fuss. “Give me a minute, please.”

“Are you feeling okay?” comes Jaehwan’s soft voice, startling him again.

He supposes it’s a little girly to put his palm against the door in hopes that the other person is doing the same, but he does it anyway. “No…not really.”

“Let me in,” Jaehwan says firmly.

Hongbin twists the doorknob and steps back, dumbly holding the plastic stick with the positive sign on it. Jaehwan takes one look at it and blinks. There’s not enough time for Hongbin to imagine what his reaction was going to be, so he doesn’t know what to make of Jaehwan’s small smile and wide eyes.

“What are we going to do?” he asks, panic apparent in his voice.

Jaehwan cups his face and smiles wider. “Relax. We should be sure about it first. We’ll go to the clinic and confirm, okay?”

Hongbin stares at the test stick, gripping it tightly. “And what if it’s confirmed?”

“Then we’ll decide what we should do together,” Jaehwan says, stroking his cheek. “Hey, you’re not alone in this.”

Hongbin finally raises his head and meets Jaehwan’s eyes. Setting the test stick down, he nods. “Okay,” he says. “I can’t believe it, though. We were so careful.”

Jaehwan sighs. “I know. The _one time_ you wanted to bottom, and – ack!”

Hongbin doesn’t use the neck chopping move often, but Jaehwan definitely deserves it that time.

 

*

 

The last time anybody congratulated Jaehwan, it was their first anniversary after debut. Fuck, his mom sounded so happy then. He wonders if she’ll be just as excited to find out she’s going to be a grandma.

“Congratulations,” the doctor says, beaming. “You’re going to be fathers.”

What he expects least of all is Hongbin burying his face into Jaehwan’s shoulder, bawling his eyes out. “What are we going to tell everyone?”

Jaehwan must be more flustered than he thinks because he resorts to humor immediately. “That I knocked you up at first try – ah!”

 _Two_ neck chops in a day. That’s a record, even for him. But Hongbin stops crying after that, so he takes it in stride. The tears well up again when they decide who should know first, though. It’s going to be extremely difficult, Jaehwan understands. It was terrifying enough telling his parents about becoming an idol singer. He honestly can’t fathom how it’ll feel like telling them that he’s _knocked up_ an idol singer. Who happens to be male. He’s never even told them that he likes boys sometimes.

They decide to tell the members first. Mostly because they’ll see him coming back from the clinic with a tear-swollen Hongbin in tow and know something’s up anyway. Especially Hakyeon, whose maternal instincts are scarily astute. Their parents would be next, and if they survive that, the company. It’s going to change _everything_ , their careers mostly, and Jaehwan might not be showing it, but his hands are shaking in his jacket pockets as they ride the van home. Hongbin takes one look at his wooden smile and slips his own hand next to Jaehwan’s, squeezing it firmly.

And he thinks maybe, just maybe, things will turn out okay.

 

*

 

The group’s policy regarding this thing between Jaehwan and Hongbin has always been _don’t ask, don’t tell_. They practically live in each other’s pockets anyway, so it wasn’t like it was hard to figure out what happen when Jaehwan and Hongbin keep disappearing together in between schedules and at dinner time. Even the managers learn to turn a blind eye when they forget to keep the touching to a minimum, or when their faces are so close they might as well be kissing.

So when Jaehwan requests for a team meeting and Hongbin’s sitting next to him even before they start, none of the other members need to ask what it’s about. 

“There’s something we need to tell you guys,” Jaehwan starts. Hongbin’s hand trembles at his side and he grabs it without hesitation. Taking a deep breath and briefly meeting Hongbin’s eyes, he soldiers on. “Bin and I went to see the doctor and she confirmed that he’s pregnant.”

There’s a few beats of total silence as everybody seems to try to take it in. Finally Wonshik speaks up. “Weren’t you guys being careful?”

He doesn’t say it in an accusing tone. But Jaehwan feels Hongbin stiffening anyway. “We _were_ careful,” he murmurs, squeezing Jaehwan’s hand in his. “It just…happened.”

Hakyeon shifts closer to where they are, patting Hongbin on the shoulder. “We’re not trying to blame anyone here. We won’t. We just need to understand the situation, okay?”

Hongbin and Jaehwan nod in unison, looking up at Taekwoon’s throat clearing. “Are you going to keep the baby?”

Neither of them has ever been able to read Taekwoon, not as well as Hakyeon, but his eyes are kind in the dim light of their living room, and Jaehwan breathes out in relief. “We haven’t decided yet. We’re going to after telling our parents, I think.”

Taekwoon nods, and Jaehwan thinks he sees a hint of a smile there. Taekwoon would be the happiest person if there’s a baby in the group, of course. For some reason it’s comforting, and Jaehwan sends him a grateful smile in return. 

“Well,” Hakyeon pipes up, clapping his hands once. “We have an early day tomorrow so we all need to go to bed. C’mon, chop chop.”

One by one they clear out of the living room, until they’re left with Sanghyuk, blinking at them through his unruly hair. He hasn’t said a word since the beginning, and when he does it’s tinged with something similar to excitement. “I think you’re going to have the cutest baby in the world.”

The tension breaks, Hongbin laughing into Jaehwan’s hair, and Jaehwan feels his heart swell uncontrollably.

 

*

 

The morning after their announcement, Hongbin watches as Jaehwan and Wonshik dance around each other, talking only when absolutely necessary and avoiding eye contact. Wonshik in protective mode is approximately five times scarier than Taekwoon on an average day, so Hongbin understands Jaehwan’s trepidation. It breaks his heart, though, seeing his two best friends in that state.

At the end of a five-hour dance practice that leaves his muscles burning, he catches Wonshik in the solo practice booth, fiddling with his laptop.

“Please don’t be mad at Jaehwan hyung.”

Wonshik doesn’t look up from the screen, his face carefully composed. “I’m not mad at anyone.”

Hongbin tilts his head, trying to meet Wonshik’s gaze. “You sure don’t act like it.”

Wonshik sighs and finally sets his equipment aside, giving Hongbin his full attention. “You know I love Jaehwan hyung. I just can’t help – ” he pauses, scowling.

“It’s not like he took advantage of me,” Hongbin points out. “It’s my fault as much as it is his.”

“And you guys _were_ being careful?”

Hongbin scoffs. “Trust me, we really, really didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“I’m sorry,” Wonshik grimaces, touching his arm comfortingly. “I’m sure nobody in the team blames either one of you.”

“Yeah, but Jaehwan hyung and I don’t think so. This affects you guys too, you know? We could be ruining everything we’ve ever worked for.”

“Hey, whatever happens, you know we’re all going to stand together and face it head on, right? Just like it has always been.”

“If this ever goes out, the fans are going to go crazy,” Hongbin groans.

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing,” Wonshik smirks, clearly trying to rile him up. “This will probably go down in history as the most awesome fan service ever.”

Hongbin elbows him in the ribs. “Shut up. You’re not helping.”

Wonshik laughs and the tension dissipates with it until Hongbin can finally smile with him. “Hey,” Wonshik says after a minute, “I know you guys have…a thing, but I wasn’t expecting _you_ to get pregnant. I’ve always thought you’re the – you know.”

Hongbin grins at the anticipation of Wonshik’s reaction. “Well, we switch a lot.”

Sure enough, Wonshik pales, shudders, and chases him out of the room. But later that afternoon he offers to spot Jaehwan at the gym and things go back to the way they were with Hongbin’s best friends, so as far as he’s concerned, it was well worth it.

 

*

 

Contrary to Jaehwan’s expectation, the sight of his parents’ house isn’t any less terrifying than Hongbin’s. They arrived in the morning and it’s creeping into evening now, hours and hours spent breaking the news to Hongbin’s family. It wasn’t exactly a pretty picture, Hongbin’s mother and sisters bursting into tears and his father screaming in fury at first. Jaehwan and Hongbin take turns consoling them and by the time they’re about to leave to see Jaehwan’s parents, the ladies were only sniffling, a mixture of fear and worry tinged with low level of excitement on their faces. Hongbin’s father had stopped talking for hours by then, but he brusquely reminded them to take care of themselves at the door, stiffly accepting Hongbin’s hug and Jaehwan’s handshake.

Jaehwan’s mom greets them with a huge smile and a hug each, and despite the embarrassment Jaehwan feels himself tearing up. His mother starts to get worried when he doesn’t let go after a couple of minutes and he can feel Hongbin’s touch at the small of his back.

“What happened?” she asks Hongbin.

His father appears at that time and not caring that he probably looks like a crybaby, Jaehwan moves on to hug him instead.

 _What trouble have you gotten into now_ was what Jaehwan expected to hear, but his father pats his back and asks, “Are you alright, son?”

“We didn’t mean for it to happen,” he blurts out, pulling away and gathering up the courage to look his parents in the eye. 

Something like panic flits across his mother’s face and his father’s hand automatically reaches out for her shoulder. Jaehwan can feel Hongbin’s side pressing against him and for some reason it gives him what he needs to go on. 

“We’re pregnant.”

There’s a beat before his mother gasps, “What – the both of you?”

“No,” Jaehwan shakes his head. “I – I’m –”

“I’m pregnant,” Hongbin cuts in, voice shaking ever so slightly.

“So what—” his father pauses, eyes widening when he finally makes the connection. “Jaehwan, are you saying that you’re the father of this child?”

Jaehwan nods and his mother breaks down into sobs. He keeps his eyes on the floor, wary of the look his father is giving Hongbin and him. “I’m sorry, father. I didn’t—”

“Why didn’t you tell us that you’re – with a boy, you—” his mother stutters, looking back and forth between Hongbin and Jaehwan.

“I’m not,” Jaehwan stutters. “I mean, generally I don’t – it’s just Hongbin. I—”

Hongbin blushes furiously, looking back down when Jaehwan’s father approaches him. “Why do you feel like you had to hide the fact that you’re in a serious relationship?” he asks, voice the same dulcet tone that Jaehwan often hears when he was being disciplined as a child. “If you hadn’t gotten Hongbin pregnant were you going to hide it from us forever?”

“I’m sorry,” Jaehwan mumbles, feeling tears springing in his eyes again. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“Clearly,” his father says. “Have you told your parents?” he asks Hongbin.

Hongbin nods, politely meeting his eyes. “Yes, we told them this morning.”

“And how did they take it?” 

Hongbin steals a glance at Jaehwan before deciding on an answer. “I think they need some time to accept it.”

Jaehwan’s father nods, ever the philosophical one. “I think _we all_ need some time.”

It isn’t an outright rejection, and Jaehwan breathes a sigh of relief. His mind goes foggy from trying to realign his heartbeats and the next thing he knows, his father is asking his mother about food. Hongbin looks slightly pale and Jaehwan chases away the urge to steady him with his hands.

“I’m guessing you boys are joining us for dinner?” his father says, not really looking at either of them.

Jaehwan and Hongbin look at each other again before nodding. “Yes, sir.”

Surprisingly, one look at them doing that, a tiny smile starts to tug at his father’s lips. “Good. Let’s settle down.”

 

*

 

All things considered, the CEO and company people’s reaction to it was forgiving. They just wanted to know whether the baby’s staying.

Deep down, Hongbin knows what the answer would be, but they’re given a day to talk it out anyway. Jaehwan’s sensible about it, listing down the changes it’ll bring into their lives and the group’s, even projecting the expenses it’s going to take. In the end, though, it comes down to what they both want.

“I want to do this,” Hongbin says. 

Jaehwan’s smile is slow but sure. “Yeah, me too.”

It’s easy to give the company their answer, it’s not as easy to accept their response. Basically the whole team’s dynamics are changing and Hongbin’s activities are going to cease before he’s showing right up until after the baby arrives. Keeping things under wraps from the media and the fans are going to be a huge hassle and Hongbin’s grateful that they didn’t decide to just drop him from the group.

“How long are we going to have to hide it from the fans?” Jaehwan asks at the end of their CEO’s long tirade about announcing Hongbin’s “study leave” as a cover story.

CEO Hwang has to pause before asking incredulously, “Are you planning on going public?”

Panic surges through Hongbin’s whole body, his heart hammering against his chest. It’s one thing to let the world know that they’re sort of dating each other. It’s a whole other mess to tell them that they’re having a baby together. At the very moment he feels the sudden urge to wring Jaehwan’s neck for bringing it up before discussing with him.

“I don’t think it’s really fair that Bin has to hide and I still get to perform.”

CEO Hwang scowls. “So, what? You want to be taken off the team too?”

“Hyung,” Hongbin quietly intervenes, grabbing Jaehwan’s forearm. “The group comes first. Without you—”

“Listen,” Jaehwan says, laying a placating hand over his. “If they know about us, Bin can still do light activities with us. Radio shows, talk shows, public appearances…”

“It’s going to be a shitstorm once the media finds out,” CEO Hwang points out. “Not to mention the fans—”

“I’m sure we’ll lose some of them,” Jaehwan says, unaware that Hongbin’s starting to feel faint from the anxiety. “But if they really love us, it’ll be fine.”

A long, resigned sigh escapes their CEO. “You need to remember that fantasy and reality are two vastly different things, Jaehwan.”

He’s talking about those fans who write and talk about Jaehwan and him sleeping together and Hongbin feels himself flush. He’d be lying if he says he’s never read any of the stories or even thought of doing some of the things written with Jaehwan.

CEO Hwang sighs again when Jaehwan stares at him without replying. “I’m going to give you guys some more time to think about it. Make sure to talk to everyone else, too. You’re all in this together.”

“Yes, sir,” they say in unison, bowing before taking their leave.

Hongbin speaks up as soon as they’re in the car. “Don’t you think that’s a little bit selfish?”

Jaehwan blinks at him. “I was thinking about you when I said that.”

“What about the team?”

“You _are_ the team!” exclaims Jaehwan. “You’re a part of us as much as anyone else.”

They’re a second away from a screaming match and Hongbin can tell the manager’s starting to get uncomfortable behind the wheel. They don’t fight like this, and Jaehwan especially almost never raises his voice to any of them.

“Look, hyung,” Hongbin says calmly. “I just think me stepping down quietly would mean the least damage to VIXX.”

“By which you mean you bearing the consequences alone? What does that make me then?”

The car comes to a stop at a convenience store and their manager climbs out after mumbling something about getting some bread and milk.

Hongbin shrugs. “That just makes you the lucky one.”

“Because I didn’t get knocked up instead?” Jaehwan scowls. “You’re lucky I love you because you definitely deserve a punch in the throat right now.”

Hongbin’s breath catches as his airway closes up. They say I love you to each other and the other guys a lot, but this is different. They’ve never meant it in _this way_ before.

“I’ve never had someone say that to me so angrily before,” is the only thing he manage to come up with.

Jaehwan averts his eyes, cheeks tinged slightly pink. “I’ve never had someone say it to me, period.”

Hongbin’s jaw drop just as the manager gets back in and starts the car. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I said I was popular. Not dateable.”

Hongbin laughs a little and leans in close. “It’s their loss,” he whispers.

Jaehwan grins and Hongbin’s heart flutters at the sight. Jaehwan’s gaze softens and he says gently, “We’ll talk to the guys about it, okay? We need their opinion too.”

“Yeah,” Hongbin sighs. “Okay.”

It’s easy to drop his head onto Jaehwan’s shoulder and doze off after that.

 

*

 

Not unexpectedly, the team is split in their decision. They’re sprawled on the living room floor with the new guide song as background music and somewhere from his room their manager is snoring. They have practice in six hours, less than four hours of sleep in them, and Jaehwan’s getting frustrated.

“Think about it,” Hakyeon says, ever the diplomatic leader. “Once they know about it, there’d be no hiding and no stress about getting caught. Male pregnancies are a lot more common these days, I don’t think it’ll make that big of an issue.”

“What about male pregnancies in an idol group, then?” Wonshik pipes up, arms crossed tightly across his chest. “Is that such a common thing these days?”

“No, but we can be the first to tell the public about it,” Sanghyuk says. He’s halfway falling asleep, draped over the couch like a ragdoll. 

Taekwoon frowns at that; either his words or the youthful optimistic of it, Jaehwan’s unsure. He hasn’t say much, which is not unusual, but he’s been clear about where he stands. “I think the stress from the public attention would be too much on Bin.”

“Our fans are great, but something like this might bring out the worst in them,” Wonshik adds.

Jaehwan looks over at Hongbin and they exchange a long, meaningful look. No matter how much they say they’re going to share the responsibility, the bulk of the burden would still be on Hongbin, quite literally.

Hongbin puts his hands up. “I just think me pulling out would keep the group’s name clear, is all.”

Hakyeon chuckles. “Maybe if Jaehwan had pulled out, we would never have this problem.”

Neither of them laughs at his ridiculous joke, too tired and stressed to have any sense of humor.

“If we agree to do that,” Jaehwan says groggily, “it’s like I’m getting off scott-free and Bin would have to be the only one to hide. I don’t like that.”

Hakyeon doesn’t make another sex joke at that, probably discouraged by their lack of reaction earlier.

“Hyung, it’s not like that,” Hongbin says, reaching out to pat his knee. “We’re all going to have to hide something. I’d be the only one to stay at home. And if you feel guilty, you can repay me in the form of feet massages and tubs of ice cream. I’d have so much less pressure while I’m pregnant. We can think about telling people after the baby comes.”

It makes perfect sense, Jaehwan knows. But the thing that seals his decision is what Taekwoon says next.

“If people know about it so soon, think about all the attention and stress they will give to your baby.”

Silence envelops them as they let that sink in. Sanghyuk’s falling asleep on Hakyeon’s shoulder and Wonshik’s pursing his lips in thought. Jaehwan watches Hongbin watching him and just like that, without words, they know that they’ve agreed on a decision.

 

*

 

Jaehwan usually doesn’t like to be left alone at the dorm with nothing to do. So he actually enjoys how they’re moving in a group all the time, the members always there to entertain and be entertained. He lives for it.

Today, however, when it turns out they have separate schedules and, thanks to some divine intervention, Hongbin and him are the only ones with a schedule-free day ahead of them, Jaehwan almost burst out into a joyous song. In fact, he’s starting to when Hakyeon gives him a sharp look that translates to _do whatever you want, but leave no evidence behind_.

They haven’t had a chance to be alone since the pregnancy test, and Hongbin pretends to busy himself organizing the kitchen cabinet for a whole five minutes before he’s tackling Jaehwan at the doorway of their bedroom. “This is like what we’ve been doing for the past few months, only hyped up by, like, a thousand times.”

Jaehwan laughs, and almost trips over Hongbin’s rumpled blanket. “How is this different from the sneaking around we did before?”

Hongbin tugs on Jaehwan’s belt and frowns when it won’t easily come off. “Not _this_. The fact that we’re hiding from a whole lot more people now.”

Jaehwan groans as they fall onto the bedding, Hongbin’s weight pressing him down. “I _knew_ you were a kinky bastard.”

Hongbin chuckles, never stopping for more than a playful bite or a nibble as he kisses down Jaehwan’s bare torso. The first time they started doing this, Jaehwan didn’t expect much from Hongbin. But over the last few months he’s learned that underneath the gentle puppy dog eyes and _aw shucks_ dimpled smile, hides an impish, horny guy with a need to please. And it’s awesome.

“Quit it. Don’t do that.”

Hongbin looks up from where he’s mouthing at Jaehwan’s flat stomach, tracing the contour of the muscles there. “Would you stop it? You look good.”

Jaehwan grimaces, subtly shrinking away from the kisses. “Yeah? Talk to me when your perfect washboard abs give way to squishy baby bump. See how you feel then.”

“Why?” Hongbin cocks an eyebrow. “Would you find me unattractive when that happens?”

“Of course not,” Jaehwan says, unflinching. “Not if your face is still as pretty as it is now.”

Hongbin gasps at Jaehwan’s grinning face and takes it as a challenge, taking him in in one smooth move. Hongbin’s the tidiest person Jaehwan’s ever known, but never when he’s giving a blowjob – all spit and tongue and sloppy urgency. Jaehwan wouldn’t have it any other way.

“God, your mouth—” Jaehwan moans, bucking helplessly under Hongbin’s hold.

Hongbin doesn’t let up, tongue lapping along his length and circling the crown. He sucks delicately at the tip for a while before switching gears to hard and fast, taking pleasure in driving Jaehwan to the edge and yanking him back again and again. It feels like eons before Hongbin decides to show mercy and stops toying with him. Jaehwan’s been reduced to babble and moans when Hongbin swallows around him, and he finally lets go.

Tacky with spit and come, Hongbin’s lips are cold when they touch his skin, but his warm breath sends a shiver up Jaehwan’s spine. “C’mon, let me—”

Hongbin rolls over readily, face flushed and beyond gorgeous. Times like this, Jaehwan often needs to stop and remind himself that he’s not dreaming. 

Hongbin feels solid under him, dick swollen and dribbling, breathing heavily. “What do you want?” he asks.

“Just – just your hand, please,” Hongbin pleads, stomach muscles quivering when Jaehwan catches him in a teasingly loose grip.

Jaehwan plays with him for a while, until Hongbin’s a mess of moans, precome and pleas, clawing at the sheets desperately. As soon as Jaehwan speeds up his strokes and flexes his fingers more, it doesn’t take long for Hongbin to come. It’s Jaehwan’s favorite thing to watch, the blissed look on Hongbin’s face, his slack lips and lowered lashes, the beautiful arch of his back and the sound of his gravelly voice as he breathes out Jaehwan’s name.

They’re definitely going to have to change and wash everything, so Jaehwan wipes his hand on the blanket and flops down next to Hongbin. They kiss for a while, something of a luxury for them, and Jaehwan revels in the pleasure of exploring Hongbin’s mouth. Hongbin kisses like he is thirsty for it, like the wait between the last time and now is too much for him. Jaehwan grazes his teeth over the swell of Hongbin’s bottom lip and feels him shiver.

“Hyung,” Hongbin whispers, eyelashes fluttering against Jaehwan’s cheek. “I’m glad I’m the first one.”

Jaehwan’s about to ask what he meant, but halfway through opening his mouth, he gets it.

His first time is unexpected, spoken under the unromantic yellow lights of his dorm room while he’s sticky with sweat and unprepared. But he guesses that’s what makes it so special. 

After, Hongbin’s deep voice echoes through him over and over, repeating the same wonderful words.

“I love you.”

 

*

 

Things are smooth sailing for the first couple of months – bouts of morning sickness, weird yam-flavored ice cream cravings and extreme fatigue aside. Hongbin’s surrounded by mother hens left and right, Hakyeon and Jaehwan the worst of them all, catering to his needs 24/7. But when he starts showing and the second trimester kicks in, there’s only one thing in his mind, always.

Jaehwan and him either spend their time apart (lighter schedule for Hongbin due to his “mild injury”) or together with the guys at their dorm or private company dinners. Hongbin spends all that time either wanting to smack Jaehwan upside the head for every little annoying thing that he used to find adorable and jumping his bones as soon as he sees him, in front of God and everyone.

His obstetrician warned him about this, hormones fluctuations or something, but Hongbin struggles everyday trying to keep himself from doing both. Jaehwan’s constant concern and soft touches doesn’t help. Just when he thinks he’s about to throw a mother of all temper tantrum, Hakyeon manages to convince the company to give them a weekend off.

Everyone’s excited about different things – Taekwoon and Wonshik for the sunlight and outdoor activities, Sanghyuk and Jaehwan for whatever it is that gets little boys excited, but Hakyeon has a different glint in his eyes as he hands over the key to Jaehwan and Hongbin’s separate room. 

“The sexual tension is killing me.”

Hongbin almost kisses him right there, in the pension’s parking lot. But he waits until after lunch, when everybody’s busy mapping out what they should do that afternoon to grab his boyfriend and locks themselves in the room.

Two whole days of making out, marathon orgasms, countryside air, and delicious food really improve his mood and by the time they’re on the road back to Seoul, he’s smiling widely, Jaehwan’s hand clutched in his.

 

*

 

Hongbin stopped practicing dance in the middle of his first trimester, but he was still with them at the studio to work on his vocals. Once he starts showing, though, the company requests for him to stay at the dorm, to not risk being seen in public.

Jaehwan calls whenever he can, ignoring the teasing from the members and staff, but Hongbin always rushes him to hang up, to not waste valuable practice time. He tries his hardest to clock in enough practice hours and still come home at a reasonable time, but Hongbin’s constantly tired now that he’s almost always asleep when Jaehwan gets home. It breaks his heart just imagining Hongbin waiting everyday by himself, falling asleep alone, baby books scattered around him.

Taekwoon catches him staring at Hongbin that night, pats his back and gently tells him to go wash up before bed. Their sleeping arrangement hasn’t changed, Hongbin and Jaehwan still separated with Hakyeon between them, but when Jaehwan comes out of the shower, Hakyeon’s sleeping next to Taekwoon and Jaehwan’s comforter is next to Hongbin. He quietly thanks them, in which Taekwoon responds with a hum and Hakyeon with a mumble about how he and Hongbin should take Wonshik and Sanghyuk’s room once they’ve bought some earplugs. Jaehwan gratefully slips under the blanket, snuggles up to his boyfriend, and falls asleep within seconds. It’s the best sleep he’s ever had in months.

When they have practice scheduled early Sunday morning, when the roads and city are quiet and still, they decided to sneak Hongbin into the van and to the studio with them. It seems like a good idea at the time.

Hongbin’s laughing happily at first, smiling widely when Taekwoon and Sanghyuk ask to touch his belly. Jaehwan sneakily kisses him in the back room and it’s the most wonderful feeling he’s had since they found out about the baby. He sort of wishes that it would go on forever.

They have a gig at some university festival coming up and they’re practicing the setlist when things start to go downhill. They’re working on a rendition of _Don’t Want to Be an Idol_ and despite having listened to Jaehwan singing it hundreds of times before, Hongbin starts crying at the first chorus. Jaehwan thinks about stopping, but Hongbin gives him a look that clearly says _stop and you’re dead_. So he keeps going, until it becomes too much to watch.

> “When my music succeeds, when everything goes well,  
>  I will give you all the love I couldn’t give you now,  
>  I’ll do everything for you, I’ll give you everything,  
>  This song is for you – I love you.”

Hongbin’s sobbing uncontrollably by the time Jaehwan gets to him. He burrows into Jaehwan’s arms, drenching his t-shirt, saying he’s fine and _I hate hormones_ whenever Jaehwan asks if he’s alright. It takes Sanghyuk rushing over with a tall glass of water and Jaehwan holding him for forty five minutes for Hongbin to smile again. He’s laughing at Hakyeon’s stupid joke when their CEO walks in. They’re all frozen with fear, not even having the sense to muster up a greeting.

“Good that you’re all here. I have something to tell you guys.” 

Jaehwan’s all prepared to take the blame for taking Hongbin out, “Sir, it was my—”

“Don’t worry,” CEO Hwang says, shaking his head. “He needs to get some fresh air. I understand.”

“I’m – I’m sorry,” Hongbin mutters, arms rigid at his sides.

CEO Hwang shakes his head again. “I need all of you to hear this anyway.”

For a split second Jaehwan’s terrified at what the news might be. Judging from the looks on the guys’ faces and the way Hongbin’s hand shakes against his own, everybody’s thinking of the worst.

“After discussing with the company, we’ve decided to give Jaehwan a couple of weeks break after Hongbin’s surgery.”

Jaehwan swears there’s a collective sigh of relief in the room immediately, most of it coming from the guy next to him.

“Thank you, sir,” Hongbin bows, a smile returning to his face. “I appreciate that very much.”

“You boys deserve it. Although it means that the rest of you will need to work a little harder. Especially you, Taekwoon.”

Taekwoon grins softly, nodding. “I understand. That won’t be a problem.”

CEO Hwang approaches them and pats Hongbin on the shoulder warmly. “I guess it’s true that pregnant people glow. You look good. Just concentrate on taking care of yourself and the baby, okay?”

“Yes, sir. I’ll make sure of that,” Jaehwan butts in.

Their CEO leaves beaming, without a shred of anger that they basically disobeyed a direct order. It’s so surreal that it takes them five seconds to break out of the tension bubble and have epic and loud group hug, Hongbin squished in the middle barking out his amazing laugh.

 

*

 

The first time Hongbin feels the baby kick, he’s sitting cross-legged and alone in the living room cleaning his camera lenses. It truly hits then, this little human being is growing inside him and it’s theirs, Jaehwan’s and his, and it’s suddenly scarier than ever. 

Taekwoon’s the first one off work, walking in when Hongbin’s mini panic attack has barely gone away. Hongbin greets him woodenly, and Taekwoon senses something wrong immediately. 

“Is something wrong?”

Hongbin puts on a crooked smile and shakes his head. “Nothing. I just feel a little light-headed, that’s all.”

He would’ve pressed on longer, that’s how Taekwoon is, if not for Hakyeon’s appearance at the front door, all finished with his radio show. He groans and throws himself onto the couch next to Taekwoon, half asleep already. But even in that state, he’s quick to notice that something’s up.

“Are you worried about the C-section?” he asks groggily.

“More like terrified about what comes after that,” Hongbin replies easily. There’s always been something about Hakyeon that makes everyone opens up to him. They never figure out what, but they don’t mind it.

Hakyeon rolls over to lie on his side so he can look at Hongbin, crushing Taekwoon in the process. “How come?”

“Come on, hyung,” Hongbin sighs. “I’m terribly awkward with kids, you know that. And Jaehwan hyung’s…Jaehwan hyung. Would you trust us with a child?”

“It’ll be different,” Taekwoon says from his new position on the floor cushion. Apart from his annoyed grunting, he’d made no noise moving from the couch. “When it’s your own, it’ll be different. Feels different.”

“Listen to the wise daddy material,” Hakyeon agrees, yawning. Hakyeon’s always so bright and rambunctious, but he had these moments – when he’s mellow and quiet.

“Are you sure?”

Hakyeon opens his eyes wider, making sure they have eye contact. “Hongbin, you are one of the kindest people I know, and Jaehwan’s one of the sweetest. You’re both smarter than you let people on. How bad of a parental set do you think you’ll be?”

As Hakyeon’s saying this, the baby flutters inside Hongbin again, as if it’s agreeing to what’s been said.

“Besides,” Hakyeon adds, back to reclining on the couch, “even if you screw things up, we’ll be here to help. Won’t we, Taekwoon?”

“Definitely,” Taekwoon replies. Hongbin detects a hint of elation in his voice, as expected when babies are mentioned around him.

Jaehwan comes home hours later, when Hongbin’s already dozing on the lounge chair. He announces himself as loud as usual, but Hongbin ignores him until he comes over to ruffle Hongbin’s hair. 

“Let’s go to bed.”

Hongbin hums as a reply, losing himself in the wonderful feel of Jaehwan’s fingers in between his hair and on his scalp. “I feel the baby kick today.”

Jaehwan isn’t loud for once, and when Hongbin opens his eyes to look at his face, it’s full of amazement and joy – the latter apparent in his smile. “Show me,” he requests softly.

In the privacy of their room, Jaehwan undresses him and touches him slowly and sweetly until the baby reacts with a strong kick. Jaehwan squeals loudly and Hongbin shushes him. Jaehwan responds by kissing him firmly on the mouth, surprising him. Jaehwan doesn’t pull back until they’re both breathless, and in Hongbin’s case, hard as a diamond. His face heats up furiously when Jaehwan looks at him questioningly. They don’t fuck as often as they’d like – busy schedules and separation getting in the way, and it’s as good of an opportunity as they can get, but Hongbin can tell that Jaehwan’s tired from the fanmeetings and photo shoots and radio show. As if he can read Hongbin’s mind, Jaehwan smiles and kisses him again, even surer and deeper this time.

He’s got Hongbin spread on the mattress in no time at all, prepping him patiently. Hongbin’s shaking with want and shame, imagining the obscene picture his hard cock makes against the swell of his belly. Jaehwan kisses the underside of it, never stopping until his fingers hit something that makes Hongbin gasp. He’s almost grateful that Jaehwan doesn’t drag it out, both aiming for a quick release. He’s inside Hongbin within seconds, inch by inch, looking down at Hongbin through it all. He doesn’t rush his thrusts, and the slow slide coupled with the perfect angle is driving Hongbin crazy. He tries not to make too much noise, but he’s also glad that Hakyeon and Taekwoon are wearing earplugs and Wonshik and Sanghyuk sleep like the dead. Jaehwan hushes him with a kiss when he gets pretty loud, thighs trembling as the pleasure washes through him. 

Jaehwan cradles those thighs in the crook of his elbows and slams against Hongbin’s sweet spot again and again. It stuns them both when Hongbin comes untouched, choked sobs mingling with Jaehwan’s streak of curses. He follows suit soon after, while Hongbin is still floating down from the high, eyes shut tight and their foreheads pressed together. Hongbin’s muscles ache and he’s tacky with sweat, but he gladly accepts Jaehwan’s kisses, kissing him back with equal fervor. 

They make out for a few minutes before Jaehwan makes a move, wiping them both down and tucking them in. Jaehwan’s asleep before he is, but Hongbin listens to the gentle in and out of his breathing and falls under soon after, warm and content.

 

*

 

Jaehwan’s favorite thing to do at the moment is singing to the baby. The guys tease him and calls him sappy, but Hongbin loves it – often falling asleep to the lilt of Jaehwan’s voice and the feel of Jaehwan’s palm on his stomach.

He’s snuffling against Jaehwan’s shoulder now, the two of them sprawled lazily on the couch. Jaehwan’s only halfway through [the song](https://app.box.com/s/jw5xfbtqps8uln5cjtct) and the rest of the group’s huddled together in front of the small TV they got to cure Hongbin’s boredom. Once in a while, Jaehwan’s voice is drowned out by Wonshik’s laughter or Hakyeon’s nagging, but Hongbin keeps on sleeping and Jaehwan keeps on singing. The baby – thirty two weeks old, gender unknown (they decided the want it to be a surprise) – kicks, and Hongbin stirs, face now angled towards the spilling dusk light, making for a gorgeous picture as always. 

A year ago, Jaehwan wouldn’t even dream of this – doing the thing he loves the most with the people he loves and building his very own family. Now he can’t imagine things any other way. 

On the TV something explodes to Taekwoon and Wonshik’s palpable awe, and Hakyeon’s wrangling Sanghyuk by the neck for no apparent reason, making him squawk. Jaehwan smiles, closes his eyes, and allows sleep to take over.


End file.
